Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Back to the Future

A rather smelly tramp walked into Stanley Gibbons in London. The shop assistant asked "can I help you sir"
"Yes" replied the tramp " I have this mint 1d black that I wish to sell"

The clerk a bit apprehensive of the mans appearance asked him "is it your property and where did you acquire it ?"

"I was once an eccentric millionaire collector and had some time on my hands so I built an electronic time machine out of used Machins and went back to 1840, this is a souvenir from my visit" said the tramp.

The clerk thought poor fellow I will humour him, "If the time machine was electronic how did you get back from Victorian times"

The tramp replied " I knew you might not believe me, it was not so easy, my back battery power pack sent me back to the future, and I spent my complete fortune trying to return, it took me 12 years, Inflation was rife, I slipped into destitution and became homeless, this is why I look so scruffy.

"Who was on the throne whilst you were in the future? Charles or William"?

"Neither" said the Tramp Lizzie was following in her Mothers footsteps and was still alive, she refuses to give up the throne"

The shop assistant thought to himself, well I have heard enough and had a bit of fun. "I'm sorry sir although this is a genuine 1d black the stamp has been very badly creased on its travels and only has one very poor margin, I am afraid it is not good enough to place into Gibbons stock. If you want to sell it I suggest you put it on eBay.

The tramp replied "all that work and travel for nothing, I guess this sheet of £14.00 value Machins cylinder D2 D1 no dot with marginal dates showing 21/03/2019 is no good either.


Anonymous said...

Very funny,

Are there any more Machin Jokes around?


Machin Man said...

A politician fe dup with the influx of Machins wanted a special postage stamp issued with his picture on it. So, he instructed his people, stressing that it should be of international quality.

The stamps were duly released and he was pleased. But within a few days of release of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and he became furious.

He called the people responsible and ordered them to investigate the matter. They checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported the problem to the politician.

The report said, "There is nothing wrong with the quality of the stamp. The problem is people are spitting on the wrong side."

This joke was Submited By - alex

Machin Man said...

Posted to me from liz by e-mail

A lady bought a 1st class Machin stamp at the post office and asked the clerk,

"Shall I stick it on myself?"

The clerk replied, "It'll get there faster if you stick it on
the envelope."

Anonymous said...

A American man and his wife walked into a post office in Charring Cross and asked for a 1st class Machin stamp.

"My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place.

Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."

The assistant looked at him and said: "Po-st Off-ice coun-ter"

Anonymous said...

If Israel produced Machin postage stamps would they be certified kosher?

Anonymous said...

One day a few years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give £20 to the child who can tell me who was the respected man, whom designed the stamp with the queens head on?

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Arnold Machin " The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I'll give you the £20."As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Arnold Machin."

Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business miss.

Jayant / Gujarati

Anonymous said...


A collector devised a sure fire way method of getting free used Machins, he inserted an ad in the classified: "Wife wanted ." Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."